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من طرف Hi everybody
This is a humorous immaginative way in how to learn English. It aims for fun and humor
Hope you enjoy reading it
Have a nice time
***
Profenglish’s Five-Minute University
I find that education, it doesn't matter where you go to university, Italy, America, Brazil, or Palestine .. all are the same -- it's all this memorization and it doesn’t matter how long you can remember anything just so you can parrot it back for the tests
I got this idea for a university I would like to start, something called the Five- Minute English University. The idea is that in five minutes you learn what the average college graduate remembers five years after he or she is out of university
it would cost like twenty dollars. That might seem like a lot of money, twenty dollars just for five minutes, but that's for like tuition, cap and gown rental, graduation picture, snacks, everything. Everything included
You know, like in college you have to take a Standard English lang uage. Well, at the Five Minute English University you can have your choice, any dialect you want you can take it. Say if you want to take AmE accent, what I teach you is "what’dat?" that means, "what is that?", and the answer is "Yankee," means "American." And believe me, if you took two years of college English , five years after you are out of university "¿"what’dat ?" and " Yankee" about all you're gonna remember
So in my university l that's all you learn. You see, you don't have to waste your time with conjugations and vocabulary, all that junk. You'll just forget it anyway, what's the difference
Linguistics? "Theory & Apply." That's it. Literature is, "you feel something, and you create a story about it in a nice way." ELT Methodology, I'm gonna have a methodology department, you know, since I'm a English teacher, and what you have to learn in methodology is the answer to the question, "How to teach English nicely?", and the answer is, "English is everywhere." Why? "Because it’s spoken by all." That's kind of a combination of the new education philosophy. It's just perfect for the late 90s or early 2000s you know, just perfect
Well, after the courses are all over, then it's time for a little summer vacation. No time to go to Beach, only lasts for like twenty seconds. But what I'll do for you, I like to turn on the sun lamp you know, give you a little glass of orange juice, that's for the snack part, orange juice, and then after vacation it's time for the final exams. I say to you, "¿ what’dat?" you say “Yankee," "Where is English?" "English لالالالالالالالا is everywhere," Linguistics? "Theory & Apply," then you put on a cap and a gown, I get out my Polaroid camera, you know, make a little snap flash picture for you, I give you the picture, you give me twenty dollars, I give you a diploma, and you're a college graduate, ready to go
I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure, right next door to the five- minute English university, I might open up a little philosophy school. You got another minute ***
Have a nice time
This is a humorous immaginative way in how to learn English. It aims for fun and humor
Hope you enjoy reading it
Have a nice time
***
Profenglish’s Five-Minute University
I find that education, it doesn't matter where you go to university, Italy, America, Brazil, or Palestine .. all are the same -- it's all this memorization and it doesn’t matter how long you can remember anything just so you can parrot it back for the tests
I got this idea for a university I would like to start, something called the Five- Minute English University. The idea is that in five minutes you learn what the average college graduate remembers five years after he or she is out of university
it would cost like twenty dollars. That might seem like a lot of money, twenty dollars just for five minutes, but that's for like tuition, cap and gown rental, graduation picture, snacks, everything. Everything included
You know, like in college you have to take a Standard English lang uage. Well, at the Five Minute English University you can have your choice, any dialect you want you can take it. Say if you want to take AmE accent, what I teach you is "what’dat?" that means, "what is that?", and the answer is "Yankee," means "American." And believe me, if you took two years of college English , five years after you are out of university "¿"what’dat ?" and " Yankee" about all you're gonna remember
So in my university l that's all you learn. You see, you don't have to waste your time with conjugations and vocabulary, all that junk. You'll just forget it anyway, what's the difference
Linguistics? "Theory & Apply." That's it. Literature is, "you feel something, and you create a story about it in a nice way." ELT Methodology, I'm gonna have a methodology department, you know, since I'm a English teacher, and what you have to learn in methodology is the answer to the question, "How to teach English nicely?", and the answer is, "English is everywhere." Why? "Because it’s spoken by all." That's kind of a combination of the new education philosophy. It's just perfect for the late 90s or early 2000s you know, just perfect
Well, after the courses are all over, then it's time for a little summer vacation. No time to go to Beach, only lasts for like twenty seconds. But what I'll do for you, I like to turn on the sun lamp you know, give you a little glass of orange juice, that's for the snack part, orange juice, and then after vacation it's time for the final exams. I say to you, "¿ what’dat?" you say “Yankee," "Where is English?" "English لالالالالالالالا is everywhere," Linguistics? "Theory & Apply," then you put on a cap and a gown, I get out my Polaroid camera, you know, make a little snap flash picture for you, I give you the picture, you give me twenty dollars, I give you a diploma, and you're a college graduate, ready to go
I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure, right next door to the five- minute English university, I might open up a little philosophy school. You got another minute ***
Have a nice time